A Valentine's Day Letter To Myself, With Love: Five Years of Hard Lessons, Heart and Holding Space

Valentine’s Day is this week. For most people, it’s a day about romance, flowers, special dinner reservations, cards and chocolate.

For me, it will always mean something much deeper.

Valentine’s Day 2021 was the day I officially re-launched It's Just Stuff. And by re-launched I mean, I had spent several months prior coming up with new branding as well as building a team, a website and navigating real marketing and lead generation for the first time since I officially incorporated in the State of Colorado in 2018.

And this all coincided with the anniversary of the day I had to let one great love of my life go in 2017, my crazy, stubborn but ever-so-adorable Beagle-Basset Hound, Gavin.

Grief and beginnings, side by side.

For the record, I did intentionally plan it that way because Gavin's passing 4 years earlier represented a new beginning for me and it was a story I shared in my first blog for this new website. If you want to read it, click HERE. I think it is a good story...scratch that...great story, but you be the judge and by all means let me know your feelings.

Anyway, I said goodbye to a companion who had walked through so many seasons with me. And that is why I chose to step forward into something uncertain, something hopeful, something that asked me to be courageous yet again, but in an oh so different way, 4 years later to the exact day. That officially started these five years of hard lessons, heart, and holding space for myself and the people in my world.

This business was born out of the heartbreak of so many things that had happened even prior to Gavin's death but also out of the bravery it takes to push past the pain I felt when I no longer had my post-divorce companion by my side.

That’s why this particular blog feels like a love letter.

Not just to the work. But to myself.

Because five years later, I understand what that version of me was doing. I was choosing to keep loving. keep building and keep believing.

This work has taught me more than I ever expected. But here are the 5 biggest lessons I have learned/reaffirmed.

1. Zero Judgment Always

If you spend enough time inside people’s homes, you quickly learn that clutter is never about laziness.

It’s about loss....

...and overwhelm

...and transitions

...and caregiving

...and decision fatigue

...and soooooooooooooooo many memories.

People don’t need raised eyebrows.

They need steady presence.

They need someone who can stand calmly in the middle of the chaos and say, “We can do this.”

Zero judgment isn’t just a professional standard.

It’s an act of respect.

When people feel safe, they make braver decisions.

And bravery is what changes a home.

2. Money Doesn’t Necessarily Buy Class

I’ve worked in both modest and magnificent spaces.

But character has nothing to do with square footage.

Kindness does.

Gratitude does.

Respect does.

The most beautiful homes aren’t the most expensive ones.

They’re the ones where people treat each other...and the professionals they invite in...with dignity.

Behind every door is simply a human being trying to manage life.

3. The Need for Boundaries

In the early days, I wanted to say yes to everything.

Every request.

Every extension.

Every emotional weight.

But five years into this iteration of my business, I know this for certain... you cannot serve well if you are constantly depleted.

Boundaries are not walls.

They are guardrails.

They protect your energy, your standards, your integrity.

They allow you to show up present instead of stretched thin.

I’ve learned that strength and compassion are not opposites.

You can hold space and hold the line at the same time.

4. Always Give to Get

This business has grown because of relationships, not transactions.

When you give generously...your preparation, your care, your collaboration...it circles back.

Not always immediately.

Not always predictably.

But consistently.

There is no shortcut for integrity.

The giving is the growth.

5. Surround Yourself with Team Members Who Also Have A Heart

If I could whisper one thing to myself five years ago, it would be this: you are not meant to carry this alone.

The right team doesn’t just lift boxes.

They lift standards.

They share values.

They steady hard days and celebrate breakthroughs.

Culture matters.

Character matters.

Energy matters.

And choosing the right people is one of the boldest business decisions you can make.

Eight years ago today, I stood at the intersection of grief and resolve.

I said goodbye to Gavin, a love who gave me loyalty, comfort, and uncomplicated joy.

Five years ago today, I said yes to rebuilding something that required risk, vulnerability, and vision.

Valentine’s Day will always remind me that love isn’t just about who we hold onto.

Sometimes it’s about what we release.

Sometimes it’s about what we begin.

Sometimes it’s about believing in yourself enough to start again while your heart is still tender.

This business was never just about bins and labels.

It has been about dignity.

And about courage.

And, most importantly, about walking into people’s lives with compassion and leaving them stronger.

So today, five years later, this is my Valentine’s love letter to me, the woman who chose to keep going.

To the one who learned to lead with grace and grit.

To the one who discovered she could have a softer heart and a stronger spine at the same time.

And to Gavin who, in his own way from over the rainbow bridge, walked me right up to the edge of a new beginning.

Thank you to anyone and everyone who has been on this journey with me so far and here's to many more Valentine's anniversaries to come.

With love, always,

Me